Verizon Layoffs: 15,000 Jobs Gone – What the Hell is Going On?

Generated Title: Verizon's Layoff Bloodbath: "Leaner" or Just Meaner?

Alright, so Verizon's about to axe 15,000 jobs. 15,000! And they're trying to spin this as becoming a "scrappy, leaner organization?" Give me a break. "Leaner" usually just means "more profitable for the clowns at the top," doesn't it?

Let's be real, this ain't about AI taking over, even though that's the excuse everyone else is using. The new CEO, Dan Schulman, wants to "salvage the cost impact" because Verizon is "lagging behind its competitors." Translation: they screwed up, and now regular people are paying the price. Verizon plans 15,000 layoffs after subscriber losses

The Domino Effect of Corporate Greed

It's not just Verizon, offcourse. The article mentions Salesforce, Oracle, Meta, Google, IBM, Intel... it's a freaking graveyard of jobs out there. And they all have some BS excuse about "restructuring" or "future-proofing."

And what about the poor saps who aren't getting laid off? They're walking on eggshells, terrified they're next. One in four workers are more anxious about losing their jobs than they were six months ago. Another 23% are just numb, bracing for impact. What kind of work environment is that? A goddamn pressure cooker, that's what.

HR reps are saying managers need to be "transparent and empathetic." Oh, really? Because I'm sure a heartfelt "I'm sorry, but you're fired" is gonna make everyone feel so much better.

The "Upskilling" Fantasy

The article suggests proactively updating your resume and LinkedIn. No duh. It also suggests building "layoff and AI-proof skills." Like what? Learning to code AI? Or maybe just becoming a robot yourself?

They say AI literacy, cloud skills, data literacy, project management, leadership skills, creative problem-solving and critical thinking skills, and communication skills are the way to go. It's like a checklist from a dystopian self-help seminar.

And the portfolio suggestion? Please. A "content strategy map template generated using AI-powered tools?" Who are they kidding? It all sounds like a desperate attempt to stay relevant in a world that's rapidly leaving us behind.

Wait, am I being too harsh? Maybe I'm just jaded. Maybe these "experts" actually know what they're talking about... Nah.

Spotting the Signs of Doom

Apparently, there are "signs" to look out for before a layoff. Leadership transitions, high prioritization of efficiency and automation, organizational restructuring plans, hiring freezes... You know, basically, if your company is acting like a normal, profit-obsessed corporation, you're probably screwed.

The advice is to "create a backup plan." You know, just in case your employer decides you're expendable. Which, let's be honest, they probably already do.

So, What's the Real Solution?

Screw the LinkedIn updates and the AI skills. The system is rigged. Companies are prioritizing profits over people, and they're using buzzwords like "leaner" and "AI-powered" to justify it. The only real solution is to burn it all down and start over. But hey, what do I know?